I Didn't Think Things Like This Ever Really Happened

I'd always just thought that Leona Helmsley had gotten a bad rap. I mean, I didn't think she was all sugar and spice or anything, I was ready to admit that she might be a difficult person. However, I also thought that there was a good chance that the media were overzealous in their reporting of her faults. Now her will has shown that she prefers the company of other bitches to her own grandchildren. She's left $12 million to her dog in the form of a trust fund! She's also left bucket loads to her brother, who will be the dogs caretaker. When the dog dies he will be buried in a nausoleum... excuse me, mausoleum which will be steam cleaned once a year. These two got the best deal out of it. Leona left $10 million each to two of her four grandchildren, but they are required to visit their late father's grave or they lose half. And the other two? They get nothing "for reasons that are known to them." Ouch!

My new favorite commercial.

Despite his co-stars, in that yellow he's the weirdest and cutest thing on the screen.

Movies

Visiting Mom in California is no longer the trip it used to be. Mom is doing her best to stay healthy, but her body is beginning to betray her. Still, she wants to get out and enjoy the world. Now, however, instead of trips to Napa or into the city for dinner, a quick trip to the movies suits her best. As a result, I have thoroughly caught up on my movie watching in the past week, seeing Stardust (actually with the BF back home, pretty good), Becoming Jane (loved it, but I'm a sucker for a costume drama), The Simpsons Movie (not quite up to the hype), and Death at a Funeral (good, British humor). In addition, I saw the silent classic, Metropolis, with a friend at the beautiful Castro Theater. Finally, I saw Hairspray.

I had seen Hairspray on Broadway when it first came out and loved it. Seriously, I came away feeling like it was exactly what a Broadway musical should be. I hesitated to see the musical as a movie because I didn't want my memories to be spoiled. I realize that I had the same hesitation about seeing the original transformed into a musical, but this time it was serious. After all, it has John Travolta, who does his best to ruin every movie he's in. Still, Mom was interested so we went. I loved the music, again, and thought that the performances were fine. I was pleased that it wasn't bad, but it didn't quite measure up to the experience of seeing it live.

A question occurred to me as I was sitting there watching Hairspray and getting its message delivered as subtly as if it were on the end of a 2x4 to my forehead: what is it about race relations or other issues of prejudice that makes us more comfortable with discussing them in the context of history? Hairspray, like a number of other movies I can think of, Far From Heaven, Corrina, Corrina, or even I'll Fly Away on the small screen, all deal with prejudice, but from the safe distance of time. When watching these movies, it's like we can look at the issues they explored, (racism, persecution of interracial couples, homophobia), and say, "Oh, yes. It was awful back then!" and comfort ourselves with the belief that things have changed. Those of us who live on the coasts perhaps enjoy more liberal surroundings, but hate crimes still occur, races still don't mix all that much, homophobia still exists... there's plenty of reason to place these films in the immediate present. These movies only allow us to stick our heads in the sand and pretend that our problems are over.

BuddyCrocker a bit slow on the uptake

After years of looking at the blog I have just now realized that Towleroad is spelled t-o-w-l-e, not e-l. Ah well. Live and learn.

Addendum to the Levi's post

Just a thought: What's going to happen when the dinner and drinks end, hottie brings the guy/girl home and then they start to get down to business? When hottie takes his jeans off will hottie's date go flying through the floor? And what might happen to the guy/girl if s/he isn't in the telephone booth? Will hottie be legally responsible for any injuries suffered by his date during disrobing? Will hottie have to keep his jeans on forever or risk losing his date? The mind boggles!

LMAO!

Check out the website I learned about from the local newspaper here at Chez Maman:

As you may have heard by now, a pair of Boston dads are marketing bulletproof backpacks -- school bags lined with bullet-stopping (and saber, hatchet and ax-stopping) Kevlarlike material. Now, we've discovered BulletproofBaby.net, a Web site that purports to sell Uzi-proof prams and "My First Riot Helmet." The toddler Tasers, by the way, have been marked down from $150 to $40.

Hoax? Actually, we think it's a viral marketing scheme for a new action flick. Besides, a real bulletproof baby site would have carried Kevlar diapers.

I'd read the report this morning but skipped over the part about it being a hoax. I watched the product test video with a mixture of disbelief and horror as the "father" takes the baby and places it in the stroller as the "mother" takes a machine gun in obvious preparation to shoot. It becomes apparent, that you're not watching anything "real," at which point it becomes funny. If this is simply a marketing scheme, then I'm disappointed that an excellent artistic opportunity has been lost. Just think if this concept had been employed in something like BlackPeopleLoveUs.com? The idea that someone would actually make baby bullet proof strollers is a perfect commentary on our society. I would love to have seen what sort of response such a website might have generated.

Levi's Advertising for boys

I've seen the mainstream version of this commercial, perhaps you have as well. Some hottie is pulling on his jeans in his apartment, which also pulls up the street through the floor. (Whatever!) A phone booth with a cute woman comes up through the floor, she's obviously into him, his hair is suddenly stylish, and off they go together.


Well, Levi's has also done a gay version of the commercial. Same guy getting dressed, just a different person in the phone booth.


I wonder how much of this has to do with Robert Hanson being in charge of Levi's American brand?

For my reader who doesn't know, Robert and I used to know each other.

Beer Bust Turns Bitchfest!

Afternoon with friends at the Eagle gets catty, complete with numerous bitchy comments and one drink thrown Crystal Carrigan style!

Seen on Towelroad

A notice about Virgin America's new service and a request for reviews from readers. Since I flew Virgin out to SF on Tuesday, I felt like I had a good basis for comparison, and my recent trip with Continental to and from Oslo also seemed apt. Airlines have always tried to make their transatlantic flights more upscale, although Continental is apparently bucking that trend. So, I commented. Now, the story on Towelroad has mysteriously disappeared. Ho hum. Another attempt to get in with the blogosphere glitterati has been thwarted. Drat! That said, I should probably mention what it was like on the shimmery, new Virgin America.

I had a 7am flight. I know that this sounds murderous, but I've learned that early flights are less likely to be delayed than later flights and I was trying my best. I didn't want to relive my holiday experience of spending eight hours in JFK when my flight to PR got cancelled. The flight was out of the international terminal and despite my kind-of timely arrival at the ticketing counter and very quick run through the check in, the line to get through security was recoculous. Representatives from Virgin and other airlines were trying to pull their passengers out of line for expedited clearance, and the TSA reps kept shutting them down, but not effectively enough to prevent everyone from being frustrated at the sheer chaos of the process. Someone in front of me, after noting that only two of the available eight lanes for security clearance were open, commented that the TSA has done more to screw up air travel in the states than the terrorists ever could.

Once on board, I was... a bit skeebed out by the decor. The seat was exceptionally comfortable and the entertainment system looked very good. However, the white, melamine tray on the seat back in front of me looked tacky and felt flimsy. VA is all proud of their "mood lighting" but it made me feel like I was inside a limo in Atlantic City with hookers and Soprano's rejects.


We left a bit late but made up for it in the air. The people in my row were older and very befuddled by the food service. VA has passengers order through the entertainment system, so even if the cart is rolling down the aisle they won't serve you unless you've punched in your order first. The crew were just fine. I thought that one young lady seemed like her perkiness was stretched to the limit, but she never snapped. Pity. Everyone was very helpful. I suppose it was necessary since many of the passengers were frustrated with the food-through-the-television thing. The entertainment system itself had a good selection of music (no surprise), both as a streaming channel or as a playlist you create yourself. They also had music videos on demand, nice! There were a couple of channels on the television that I wanted to watch, but they were blanks with a notice that a subscription was necessary. Also, my screen had to reboot at one point. (At least, that's what I think it was doing when it wouldn't work for a while.) Otherwise, I was very happy with the entertainment system.

Overall, I was very happy with my flight, in spite of the assault on my aesthetics. I was also very happy with the price, since they're charging what JetBlue would have if they hadn't become the greedy, huge corporation in small, friendly clothing that they are.

Oslo to San Francisco.

It all began with a question: Can a mere teacher attain jetsetter status? I believe the answer is: No. Well, at least I don't think that I qualify. I've spent almost two weeks in Norway, then flown from Oslo to New York City and on to San Francisco a day later. Honestly, I don't know how BebeMoche does it. My circadian rhythms are all befuddled, I'm irregular... it's not a pretty picture.

Can't Blog! In Norway!

Rain, Rain...

Last night NYC got hit by some heavy rain and as a result local roads, rail, and air traffic have been severely slowed. People have been waiting up to three hours to get onto a train. Many have been told to get off the train and take the bus, only to find that the buses are so full that drivers won't allow new passengers on. The MTA has even told people to just stay home. Normal to heavy precipitation seems to cripple the city much more now than when I first moved here. It's become so commonplace that if the weatherman predicts heavy rain, I get up at least thirty minutes early, just in case I have to take a different subway line to work in the morning and walk across Central Park. A couple of weeks ago a couple of friends returned from their honeymoon in Myanmar. They were telling us all about it, how it's basically a dictatorship that's cut off from the rest of the world. As an illustration of how underdeveloped it is they said, "And whenever it rains, all the roads shut down!" to which I replied, "Oh my God! Just like here!"

I laugh, but this is a serious problem and it's ridiculous that we suffer under these conditions.


Pictures were obtained from Bloomberg.com

Informative AND funny!

I don't know why, but I love the Science section of the New York Times. Even though my degrees deal with the Ancient World, and they've afforded me a job that keeps me quite happy, I really enjoy learning about how the world around us works, how our bodies function, what governs animal behavior, etc., etc. So I always look forward to Tuesdays when the Times updates its Science page. Yesterday's update had this article on the purpose and function of fat in our bodies. Not only did I learn something new, (that fat may be what allowed us to become smarter than the average monkey), but it's an entertaining, funny read. I really suggest you read it, if you have five minutes. Since liposuction, a scary-ass procedure, is becoming so common in our society that parents get it for their 12 year old daughter, it's good to be reminded that a little bit ot isf fa not a bad thing.

Goin' Straight t' LL

You've read all about her latest DUI/cocaine/SUV-jacking thing. Perhaps you know that she's been in rehab twice in the past year. Maybe you've heard about the snow-blow video. You've seen the pics of her passed out, super-skinny, showing her naughties. Now, VH1 is running a show called Lindsay Lohan's Hollywood Trainwreck. Looks like those folks in media-land have found Anna Nicole's true heir.

Where's PETA?

A judge in Ohio has a history of using costumes and animals in sentencing minor criminals. Essentially, what he does is use public humiliation. It's not quite as bad as the stocks and pillories of old, but it's along those lines. I just wonder what the animal activists think about it? Isn't it demeaning to the innocent donkey (not to mention unmerited) that he/she be paraded around town as part of a human's humiliation? I'd think that PETA would be all over that shit.

What's Wrong with this Picture?

The man has $2 million in the bank, a $1.3 million house (fully paid) which overlooks the Pacific Ocean and he still thinks that he has yet to "make it." Further evidence that our nation has lost any sort of healthy perspective. Read all about it here.

New Favorite Video

I would never have seen this if it weren't for the BF. He found out about Feist and her music. Apparently she took part in the opening ceremonies in the Winter Olympics in Calgary and the experience was so much fun she just wanted to do something like it as an adult. I think the result is amazing. Now that music videos have been commonplace for nearly thirty years, and audiences have come to expect slick, polished, precise performances, it's refreshing to see something which is fresh and feels original, in part because it is so low-tech. And it's all done in one take! Amazing! Enjoy!

My Home Office

During the summer, due to the flesh-meltingly hot weather, I don't often leave my central AC temperature regulated cave. Usually the furthest I'll stray is to the roof terrace which allows me to pretend that I've "gotten out." It's very nice up there, tables with umbrellas, interesting architecture in view, a bit breezy. The only issue is the mammoth-sized flies which occasionally stop by. Just to give you a taste, here's my seat...


Every now and then I get paranoid that the neighbors are watching me...


then I realize they're just looking at themselves..


And just today I realized that a nearby building has an outdoor cafe. Unfortunately, I seriously doubt that it's open to the public. Pity. It's pretty high up and must have a better view than I do.

Boy, do I love France!

Can you imagine this sort of ad campaign anywhere in the States? Like, with NASCAR drivers? No frickin' way!

It's a mystery!

This ring showed up in our guest bathroom last week and we have no idea to whom it belongs. It's a man's ring, large enough so that it fits on my thumb. It's not solid, rather it's pieced together like a watch band. The really annoying thing is that I know that I've seen it on someone else before, I just can't remember who. I remember being out with other people and remarking to someone that it was really interesting, them taking it off and showing it to me, putting it back on... I just wish that I could remember who that was! I must be getting senile. And it's not like we've had so many guests parading through here over the last few days! It's really beginning to bug me.

Okay, but have you seen this?

A while back a post-production house came up with a competition in which people would take clips from famous movies and splice them into trailers which made the movies seem completely different from what they actually are. You may have seen the winner, Shining:


Yesterday I came across Scary Mary, along the same lines and also very funny. Enjoy!